What's on My Mind

I don't think I've written about my current situation as of yet regarding my new injury. Yep, I hurt my left knee again; the one I just had scoped in March. I was doing so well too which makes it even worse because I really have to wonder how it will hold up and what it will feel like after the second arthroscopic surgery to remove the torn piece of meniscus.

A brief history since most would find this boring and since the details are on another blog of mine anyway. I hurt it August 7, 2008 with a twisting action (again). I let my boss know that evening. I called it in the next day hoping it would feel better by morning and I wouldn't have to officially report it. Eleven days post injury it was gradually getting worse so I went to the clinic on Aug 18. Ahh, the clinic. The doctor wanted me to return on Aug 21. Then he wanted me to return on Aug 28. Why so may times? Because he was "not completely convinced that I have a serious injury". Dude, I've been through this twice... it's torn. Anyway the insurance company pulled a number switcheroo and said that they were considering an aggravation to the previous injury so it wouldn't be a new claim; how convenient for them. Anyway, I saw my regular orthopedic guy on Sept 3, had the MRI on Sept 9 which did indeed indicate another tear, then I saw my ortho again basically to confirm the results and schedule a second scope. Fine.

Then I get a call from the insurance company on Sept 24 saying they are sending me for an independent medical examination on Oct 2. Now I know how these work and after looking up some information on the net I decided I better call a lawyer so I contacted Marshall who is in cahoots with the union. Anyway I was a complete mess for an entire week; which is why I haven't finished any knitting projects or blogged about anything. I spent hours fretting and stressing and having mini anxiety attacks despite my daily meds while getting my paperwork in order to see this IME guy.

The IME day. I was in and out of anxiety attacks from the moment I sat down in the waiting room. I had to wait for 25 minutes before being called back to see the IME. I told him I was going to video tape the session and he said he wouldn't do it then. I said, "If I'm not hiding anything and you're not hiding anything then why not". He said he didn't want his medical exam taped. He also rejected the use of a mini recorder. I would have pushed him on the issue except I'm sure it would have gotten turned around that I was the one that didn't want to have the exam and therefore the insurance co could issue a letter of dispute. I explained to him briefly while trying not to cry that I have this anxiety thing so if I seem like I'm being uncooperative or start feeling my pulse it's because I'm basically having an anxiety attack. He offered me something to drink and brought me a mug of water. I was shaking so badly I thought I was going to spill it. Anyhow, he asked me for dates and descriptions and I felt more at ease that he wasn't drilling me about physical activities outside work or seemingly trying to twist what I had to say around and make it look like I was making something up. He did a quick physical exam which included measuring both calves and thighs at the VMO he then performed the Mcmurry test which of course hurt and finished up with having me squat which I was very hesitant to do and I pretty much let out a squeel as I squatted down. So at the end of the exam he said "you need another scope". I asked him why they would send me for the IME if it was so obvious and he said sometimes they just do that. I felt relieved yet at the same time I knew the next step was to have the surgery. I didn't even get on the elevator yet and I was literally balling my eyes out then and all the way home. I guess because it was the final step before surgery on Oct 9; at least I hope so.

The lawyer tells me there is still a chance of getting a "letter of dispute" in which case I will definitely have to take legal action. I certainly hope it doesn't come to that.

So that's the story.